HERE COMES
HERE COMES
WOODROW WILSON
Your Favorite American President

HIS BIRTH

December 28, 1856 was a day unlike any other. On that day the lion layed down with the lamb, the heavens rejoiced, double-rainbows sprung forth and the world was united in one unanimous orgasm as the greatest leader in the history of America, and possibly the world, came into existance. His name was Woodrow Wilson.

HIS CONCEPTION

Woodrow Wilson's parents knew that their love would produce a child that would save mankind. That's why they became the first couple in history to document the act of coitus through film. Unfortunatley, Kutztown University doesn't appreciate the beauty of the act of reproduction as much as I do. The footage has been removed at thier request.
COLLEGE
In his college years at Princeton University Woodrow Wilson's aptitude sprung forth in many ways. He invented beerpong and the kegstand as well as coining the phrase "Turn UP". He was so well revered in these aspects that in later life he was administered as president of the school, proving that Woodrow Wilson was the president who was the best at being the president of things.
1810 ELECTION
In New Jersy's 1910 election Woodrow Wilson gave his opponent, Vivian M. Lewis, both a metaphorical and literal beating. Vivian may have been the Commisioner of Banking but Wilson was the Commisioner of SPANKING. By the way, did you know that the election of a governer is called the Gubernatorial Election? That's what it's ACTUALLY called. WTF.
1912 ELECTION
Check Wilson's EP. That shit was fire.
AIR WILSON
After a hearty two terms as president Woodrow Wilon thought he could just relax and live the easy life - and that's what he did for a while. However, in 2005 Woodrow saw a great tragedy on the horizon. He could not sit back and watch the Chicago Bulls loose to New Jersy in the first round of the NBA playoffs. With Woodrow on defense the Bulls were able to make it all the way to the Conference finals.
AIR WILSON
After a hearty two terms as president Woodrow Wilon thought he could just relax and live the easy life - and that's what he did for a while. However, in 2005 Woodrow saw a great tragedy on the horizon. He could not sit back and watch the Chicago Bulls loose to New Jersy in the first round of the NBA playoffs. With Woodrow on defense the Bulls were able to make it all the way to the Conference finals.
Best Friends Forever?
Woodrow Wilson has had alot of world-changing accomplishments in his long lifetime. However, he believes his greatest achievement is his friendship with Kutztown Professor Joshua Miller. Ever since Miller saved the former President from being strangled to death by a stripper in Taiwan the duo have been inseperable.